photo.jpg

photo.jpg, a photo by clgaines05 on Flickr.

9 weeks down, 1 to go!

The last time I blogged was just a few weeks after Larry left and I really didn't know how I was going to make it through it. However, the time really has flown by quickly...it does seem like forever since I have seen him but in less than 1 week I will be in his arms.

Everyone who knows that he left always asks how he is doing or if they don't know they want to know why in the world he isn't with me...I usually smile and say "he turned 40 years old and decided to join the Army Reserves." Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive to me, the kids and Larry! It means alot to know you all care.

In the beginning of all this I was not for it. I was defiantly in shock, hurt, scared and a little mad. Why would he want to leave us? I thought wow, almost 4 years together and he already wants to leave us...but now I understand, it had nothing to do with us at all. There was something pulling him there, he needed to find himself and do something for himself to have the since of pride that he had succeeded in something...I fully understand since I feel the same myself at times that I have not accomplished anything important in my life except for being a mom (and sometimes I dont feel too accomplished in that one!) Through this I have realized too that he loves us very deeply...there has not been a day go by that he has not written me a letter and he makes sure I know how he feels about me, the kids and our family in everyone of them.

Im really in awe of how great he is doing in boot camp. He has been a squad leader, a platoon guide and now a squad leader again. He shot expert in the shooting drills and will earn special recognition at his graduation for that. He also has excelled in the physical training side also, running 2 miles in 13 min & 18 sec. He has had a Sargent Major (or whatever they are called) come up to him and shake his hand and tell him how much he admired him for joining at his age and doing so well. I know this has been alot harder than he thought it would be, but he hasn't let it get him down...no injuries and sometimes out lasting the younger men. The letter I got today (from last Saturday) said he was going on his last training 5 day camp in the woods and when they were done he would be a "Soldier". I can only imaging the sense of pride he is feeling for accomplishing this feat...I know Im about to burst with pride already, just wait til I see him! It will be impossible to fight back the tears of joy and pride for him!

He will have 6 more weeks after graduation in Texas for AIT, which will be training him for his specialty. By the first or second week of October he should be home with us!

Keep us all in your prayers as we travel up to Kentucky next Wednesday to see him and that we all have safe travel home. Im flying for my first time ever and a little terrified but I would run through a burning building, fly around the world and swim through alligators to see my husband so Im gonna make it!

Here is a picture of my Soldier! I will blog again when we return with pics from our trip!

This Is Harder Than I Thought!

I guess you can never really prepare yourself for things that come your way...In a way I feel so guilty for missing my husband so much. I keep thinking to myself, we are still married, he is still alive and we will be together again in 14 more weeks...but this is hard...I cant even imagine if anything happened to him.

Its been 2 weeks and at first it was ok...yes I missed him and jumped every time the phone rang but it was just like he was just gone for a few days and nothing more...plus I was extremely busy with pictures, baseball practice and tournaments, and Rhonda & I took the kids to Cocoa for a few days to use our timeshare...then after the tournament and the kids went to their dads for a week...I have been here all by myself this week! Still very busy but very lonely...I miss him more now and have cried more in the last 2 days than I did in the beginning...I know it will get easier as time goes on but Im not enjoying this at all.

I learned along time ago not to take anyone for granted from personal experiences so I never took Larry for granted or so I thought...until now he is gone and I have to do everything here by myself. Mowing and weed eating 2 yards (we help our neighbor with her yard), taking out the garbage, fixing things that need to be fixed, feeding all 16 of our animals and going to bed by yourself and it all of a sudden feels different and I cant get comfortable...needless to say I haven't slept much...but I'm sure I will finally just give out and will pass out (not literally).

I have talked to him twice for 2 minutes each... he sounds good and has wondered himself what he has gotten himself into, but he is falling into place real well. He has been training since January here at home so when he took his PT test he ran the mile in 7.39 minutes and maxed out on all the sit-ups, pull-ups and push-ups! I am so proud of him and I cant wait to see him in August march across that field on his graduation day to have accomplished something he wanted very badly. He has written almost everyday so I do look forward to checking my mail (no not email it comes good old snail mail!) and I finally got his mailing address yesterday so today I sent out all the letters I have been writing him for the past 2 weeks.

I also miss our talks...we talked about everything...he truly is my best friend. I think it would be easier if I could at least talk to him about my day and how the kids are or how he is doing, but instead I have to wait for a 2 minute phone call when they tell him he can call. I have alot going on here and some decisions to make in the next few months. I really wish I could talk to him about them to have his opinion. I have written them in the letters but its not the same.

The mind is a very powerful thing and sometimes it can get the best of you, makes you think about what could happen. I have alot of fears of when he comes home if he will be the same Larry and will he still love us like he did...I know, I know that is just crazy talk...but sometimes things just happen and you cant control them...I know first hand on that one and I cant even imagine my life without him...

I guess Im just venting or feeling sorry for myself, tomorrow is a new day and hopefully I will be over it or at least not crying about it...Please keep our family in your prayers...