Happy Birthday!!!!

Today is Brant's 13th birthday! I just can't believe that I am the mom of a teenager... although he has been reminding me all week that it is coming... Of course like every other birthday of theirs, I reminisce over the day they were born, the joys and the trials...then I think of how lucky and blessed I am to have both of them.

I have good kids despite the fact they both have been through alot in their little lives, they are emerging victoriously in so many ways! Growing, changing, learning and exploring everyday... I so miss those early days of their lives when they were so dependant on me in every way. Now they almost do everything for themselves, ok not everything... I still do alot for them, but if I werent here they would survive without me for a few hours.

I usually cry every year on their birthdays, even if its a few little tears...I think they expect it... Brant asked me this morning, "are you crying yet?", they know if mom is crying she is happy or proud...tears in my family does not mean only sadness, it simply means our hearts are about to burst with joy and pride, so it has no where to go but out in tears (Right Mom????) I got it from my mom, poor Mandi & Jeremy so many times saw both of us cry over them while they were doing things like singing, pageants, pitching or whatever event we were watching them do...

I've already cried tears of joy and pride over so many things from my kids and I dont think I ever will stop...they know how much I love them when they see me cry with a smile on my face!!!

Little does Brant know I have cried a few times today when thinking about him over the years, but I may have to save just a few for later so he can see I still cry every year on his birthday...

They are the light of my life and joy in my heart!!!

I made 2 collages for their birthdays so Im putting them both on here... Cheyennes birthday was last month and I didnt blog about it because it was still so new to me...so this is for both of them!!!

Baby Steps Into Growing Up

My 8 year old daughter Cheyenne, is very shy, and everyone says I named her perfectly. We actually call her Chey as a nickname. She has always been one to take so long to warm up to everyone and everything. We once took her to a water park in Daytona and she was scared to leave my side the for the first hour, then when she finally did and started enjoying herself it was time to go. I can't say a lot about it because I am also a little shy, maybe not as much as I used to be but sometimes when we are around a lot of people around me I get nervous and I defiantly can not speak in front of a crowd!

The first few years of school was no picnic either, most mornings she cried and threw up before school. It was awful, that is one of the reasons I quit my job and last year in 2nd grade was better for her, no throwing up and she only cried a few times... Now this year is a whole different story, she gets up in the morning, gets ready and actually has a smile on her face. I have seen her blossom so much in the past few months, its like she is trying to leave the baby behind and come into being an adolescent or more importantly a tween...oh my, I'm not sure I'm ready for that one. She already acts like she is 16 sometimes, thanks to Hannah Montana!

She is also afraid to spend the night anywhere, the only places she would stay are at her dad's or her dad's mother's house. But this summer she did stay with my Mom once, for the first time in a really long time. She said it was great and asked not long ago when she can stay with her again. We are working on that feat but she is doing alot better. Im not sure I will get her into children's church anytime soon either, but you never know she may surprise me.

I am especially proud of her right now though, I saw her overcome a fear of speaking in front of people last night. We joined 4-H and they asked her to be the secretary, the whole time Im saying "she's not gonna do that", but all the parents assured me they would help her along, so we agreed. So last night was her first time and she had to read the minutes, she was scared to death and I could see the fear on her face. She wouldnt even participate in the activities before she was so nervous, but when it came time for her, one of the leaders stood beside her and helped her with the words she had trouble with and she read the whole thing aloud!!!! She did AWESOME... I was so proud, then she actually wanted to stand up in front of all of them and recite the 4-H pledge, she couldnt remember it this time, but we will study hard for next time.
She even asked if we could do a presentation in one of the upcoming meetings! WOW is all I have to say, is that my little Chey who is scared of her own shadow sometimes??? Yes it is!!! We are also going to enter the Southeastern Youth Fair in Marion County where she may have to speak to judges, we will cross that bridge when we get there but for now we will take these baby steps into growing up!

Cutting some of the Apron Strings

I had yet another "cutting the apron stings" experience this past week. Brant my oldest started Middle School on Monday (Since Marion Cty has been closed the rest of the week, I will have to do this again next Monday). During his orientation, I walked him around to all of his classes and showed him which way to go to find his way. That school is alot bigger than the one I went to with alot more kids!

During the day I met his PE teacher who told me that Mon-Wed they will have a 6 period schedule then on Thurs & Fri they will have a block schedule...Me getting paranoid I asked if they would remind the kids of this and she told me yes and reassured me that they will help the kids until they all knew the routine. I apologized for "being a mom" and she said "Well we all have to start cutting the apron strings a little at a time each time they go on into new schools and as they go through life."

On Monday we took Cheyenne to school, she starts an hour & a half earlier than him. She was a little nervous but I wasnt so worried about her, she is in the same school and in 3rd grade so she know the ropes so to speak.

Anyway, we had a little time together, we went to Walmart and got a few things and then we were on our way to the school. He looked at me and kinda took a deep breath. I knew he was nervous because he barely ate breakfast and I was naseous all morning too, wishing I hadnt eaten breakfast. I asked him "Do you have the note card with all of your classes in your pocket?" He shook his head yes and then I said, "Are you sure you dont want me to walk you to your first class?" Without hesitation he said "Mom Im going into 6th grade you dont need to walk me."

So we drove on and as we pulled up to the drive he got out and took his stuff, turned and looked with a little bit of a nervous look and just said "Bye Mom". While Im telling him I love him and waving...

I drove away and made it out of the parking lot when the tears came. I waited all day, wondering how it went. Did he find all his classes? Did he see anyone he knew? When I picked him up he said he had a good day and really liked it. Which was a great relief but a little gut wrenching knowing he doesnt need me as much as he did...

So I cut a little of my apron strings for now waiting until the time Cheyenne goes to 6th and He goes to 9th... Thank goodness that's 3 years from now! They will always be my babies in my mind even when they are 50!!!!